Don't taint the fresh paint

on raw newness

The beginning is tough.

It’s like a blank sheet of paper with the edges torn. An unknown word count holding hundreds of font choices spinning above the page.

The new is intimidating; an anxiety ridden fever dream come to life. This is when reality flips, shaking out the old to reveal the weight of the unwritten. It can feel like the heaviest burden to do it “right,” to make the new “perfect.”

Good God Let Me Not Fuck This Up!

As emotional beings we can forget the big bad unknown is the greatest gift. It is ours to paint with all our colors, to expressively breathe life into every word and phrase. To prove to ourselves who we really are. The requirement to get through the beginning is raw faithful confidence.

Any lack of confidence held within will show up in bright neon arrows pointing to the parts of you that have to die off. The part of you that lacks and blames will subconsciously re-write the same old story and birth it onto your clean front page. Repeat after me: Don’t taint the fresh paint. We all deserve that clean-air-fresh-linen-newness on the pages of our present.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Who is the author?

When the new falls upon you it makes no sense to look outside yourself for the ‘how-to’ instructional manual, especially during major life changing events. Help is always around the corner but hand holding is an old timeline ring-around-the-rosie, painting the past in a different shade for an even more fucked up future. This “follow the leader” ineptitude has been running on repeat since your first breaths. Graduate the program and become your own coder.

Taking advice from wise counsel is one thing, looking to another for a step-by-step “this is how” does not evolve your identity, it dulls it. Look up and in. Everything is happening, right now, the way you consciously and/or subconsciously choose it to.

You are the writer writing your future.

Use your gift of the N-U to elevate your reality.

• How will your story begin?

• Who is the protagonist?

• Who is the antagonist?

• Are they both you or do you point the proverbial finger?

The beginning is a time to celebrate. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to admit that you are the pen holder. You are the delicate artist dancing in life’s arena for all to see. If you fail, fall down, are forced to detour…it is you responsibility to write it differently during the newness period.

Welcome to your zero-point vortex.

Celebrate that.

Sprinkle confetti with each intentional step while releasing the inner conflict of ‘how’. Remember, our bodies hold the interpretation of how.

Testing-Testing-Trusting

This is not magical thinking or some sort of woo-woo way of seeing the world. It is the higher-perspective inner and over-standing that you/me/we are the writers of history. We can trust ourselves to thread the fabric of time together, knowing it will be challenging and lovingly push through the sludge anyway.

Choose to write yourself as the winner, the one that crosses the finish line at precisely the correct time.

Celebrate the rawness of this newness, now.

It will never be this clean again.

Thank you for your patience as I had to take some time away to naturally birth a whole human being. A perfect, amazing, smart as a whip, baby peach- my own version of raw newness.

Sending love to all of you!