The Cool Factor?
Follow the teenager down the well
People say they want to be happy, unstuck, peaceful or, at the very least, have some semblance of connection with a happy heart and mind.
If the above is true for most of the human psyche, why is our younger generation being sold a narrative of “cool sadness?” Now, when I was a bright-eyed youth I wanted to collect my happiness cards from movies like ‘Clueless’, ‘Dumb and Dumber,’ ‘Happy Gilmore,’ ‘Billy Madison,’ ‘Tommy Boy’…the list goes on. I wanted to laugh and have the ‘silly happy ending’ like my cinematic champions. Raise your hand if this was you too.
Adjusting to young adulthood by wading through the pop-culture-teenage-angst of the 90’s grunge movement gave my generation a specific perspective. We learned the difference between thirst for change, willful ignorance, and true sadness. To me, it was apparent that there was a deeper message of rebellion against the previous generations. Our problems were because of the boomers’ choices, and we spoke on it. We shouted and screamed about it.
Kurt Cobain, Zach de la Rocha, Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell were just some of the leaders showing us this way of digging into the feeling of being forgotten. We identified the tears in an expired social construct and began ripping at the seams.
This was how a lot of us, now adults, grew up.
Unfortunately, sadness and suicidal ideation is being sold to the current generation of young adults as the new ‘cool.’ To me, there is no real message behind it rather than a game of ‘follow the leader down the well.’ The line is growing longer and longer as I hit these keystrokes.
These teens aren’t shouting and screaming about how fucked up things are or how they want their youth to matter. They emit a barely audible morose whisper, emotionally delayed with expectations of instant gratification. The culture that supports this is a hinderance in their ability to hold true self-love and identifying as loving tolerant beings. Frankly, it pisses me the fuck off. We, as adults, owe it to them to shed our own fears and self-loathing to provide a solid example of how to hold contentment in the day-to-day.
Teen depression/mental health is a legitimate crisis that we are in the throes of witnessing. “…anxiety problems, behavior problems, and depression are the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders in children” (CDC, 2023). Amongst children aged 3-17 years in 2016-2019, millions suffer from:
Anxiety 9.4% (approximately 5.8 million)
Behavior problems 8.9% (approximately 5.5 million)
Depression 4.4% (approximately 2.7 million)
Of those 2.7 million, 15.1% had a major depressive episode and 36.7% had persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness (CDC, 2023).
…
Depressed and anxious youth need a trusted outlet where they can work towards achievement in a skill that means something to them. If we can provide a safe place to train where physical, mental, and emotional benefits are abundant, their opportunities to succeed are clear.
- Unveiling the Hidden World of Youth Depression, Candace Gorman. July 5th 2023
Pop Idol Fuckery
With music artists like Billie Eilish and Lana Del Ray, we can see how this “look at how cool and sad I am,” narrative is forming an entire identity amongst the youth of the U.S. of WTF. I can understand from an artistic viewpoint that sadness and despair is a powerful tool used to create the art that can change perspectives and influence the masses. My issue is the imbalance, the obsession with it. That obsession bleeds into the identities of the current teenage populace, our future leaders. This angular perspective doesn’t leave much space for a self-loving identity.
Under the tentacles of social media and a very VERY confusing education system, our tender teens need help. Not some 80’s era ‘Hell Camp’ for “the bad kids” but real help, energetic help. We are watching the beginning of a generation slowly wither under the weight of “Cool Sadness.”
As a former “emo/scremo kid,” I have first-hand experience with the effect that certain music artists had on me while I idealized the sadness pumped through my headphones as a depressed teen. It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I was able to begin breaking out of this programmed identity. I believe our young ones deserve better than that.
If you’re hip to the Purple Peach Vibe, then you already know what I’m going to tie this back to.
Food is the way through.
We can do our part to energetically shift this cool factor into a self-loving foundation for these young adults. Surprise! The hack is in the food. We can interject this cumbersome emotional detachment with what we make for breakfast, dinner, school lunches, holiday get togethers, summer get togethers etc. Anytime we are preparing meals we can use our Peach Power to energetically dominate this Pop Idol.
They will always do what they want
Truthfully, teens are going to do, watch, listen to what they want. I wasn’t “allowed” to watch ‘Beavis and Butthead’ when I was a pre-teen. I wasn’t “allowed” to sneak out, go to raves and drop acid in abandoned warehouse in San Francisco with a bunch of random hippies. I did what I wanted and teens today will do what they want as well.
Our power as conscious adults, parents, guardians, teachers, etc. is to understand this and take an energetic approach in shifting the energetic resonance of what they “want.” Not by some dysfunctional power dynamic and use of a heavy hand, but by harnessing our true love of self. The ripple effect works! This positive charge can light up even the darkest spaces.
Through the power of intentional cooking and consumption we can help write off this narrative of “let’s all die tonight, it’s cool to eat tide pods or whatever.”
What we intentionally send through our cooking can help shift the identities of an entire generation. Most teens I have worked with responded positively to energetic adjustments. It tends to efficaciously support traditional means of therapy, addressing this sadness running rampant through the collective “cool factor.”
My hope is for the adults in the room the turn to the left and choose to feed a new energetic narrative to their teens and young adults spiraling in sadness. The way that works for them, their families and their homes.
Expecting immediacy is a trap
It will take some time and consistency but the effects of sending conscious intention into the bellies of your loved ones can truly introduce this “new self-love cool” into your home. Shifting the energy, shifts the mindset and only your Peach Power and an intentional recipe is required for this shift to occur.
The rise of a generation from the undercurrent starts with you, your energy and your deliciously intentional meals. Who knows, these teens may even be able to touch their own sense of “happy.” A peaceful space in which self-love can begin to grow and flourish.
Adversely, these teens can stay in this cool-sad-space of self deprecation and judgement. We shall see. Point is, we have more power then we think.
We all have our choices after all.
Everyone must learn.
Shout out to all the Substackers that have been such a support to the Purple Peach Philosophy and the overall stabilization of truthful self expression and the importance of harnessing a self-loving identity.
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |I truly appreciate all the work each of you put into your publications. I am honored to be here with all of you!
I absolutely love the message here. An entire generation (the plugged in one) is suffering with far more mental health issues than we did (the play outside generation).
It's sad. One thing I'd like to touch on with regards to eating properly to promote better mental health is that SO MANY families or single income parents simply can't afford to eat well. It's cheaper to buy 10 boxes of Kraft dinner than it is to buy a bag of fresh food. And it sucks. I was a single parent my son's whole life and it was always a financial and time-based struggle. I didn't have the money nor the time as a full-time working parent.
Brilliant article, so much to take away here.
Thank you for this important piece.
In addition to being a Trauma therapist, I am a mom of adult children, And a 14 year old daughter. I also raise my 8yr old nephew.
My daughter has verbalized her disenchantment with this phenomenon you refer to.
While so many variables factor in to the propensity for a mental health struggle, I agree with you a positive shift (& the desire for one) is far more likely to come when modeled genuinely from invested adults who value their own well-being, rather than a heavy hand, “do as I say” approach.
We are energetic beings above all else (energy creating matter & all that; non-verbal communication etc.)
So much of our behavior is governed through our ‘hardwiring for survival’ (largely a part of our Autonomic Nervous System).
“Neurons that fire together, wire together” is one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Rick Hanson, author of the Buddha Brain that speaks to Neuro-plasticity however (our capacity to form new pathways based upon our repeated salient social experiences).
We are social creatures that co-regulate.
Beyond all this & so very much more, I appreciate how your approach (that addresses self-care through nutrition) is huge bang for the buck!
Considering our gut’s health is so impactful to physical And Emotional well-being, it needs to be a part of any wholistic approach. It is Literally a second brain, producing neurotransmitters necessary for feeling good, bonding, meditating pain & so on.
Thanks for the mention among these other great Substackers!! Can’t wait to check them out.